a quiet corner for thoughts, dreams, and little pieces of me.
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(ENG) When Silence Feels Too Loud
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My head feels so noisy.
Voices overlap, parts of me want to keep moving forward, but other parts just want me to stop. In the end, I still have to choose: do I keep living like this, or do I stop here and take another path? It’s loud—too loud inside my head.
I’ve spent so much time trying to heal other people’s wounds, yet I never realized that I, too, need healing. I need to heal if I want to continue living. Only now do I see that my life five years ago wasn’t as heavy as I thought. Everything back then flowed the way I wanted, and I did so many things that I loved. But lately, I’ve truly lost myself. I don’t know what I’m working toward anymore. I don’t know where my dreams are taking me. I don’t even know what I really want.
It’s unbearably noisy.
And I hate it.
I also noticed that lately, when I lie down to rest my body on the softness of my bed, close my eyes, I can finally feel the sadness creeping in. That’s when I realize how not okay I am right now. How unhappy I am.
But then, something reminds me that gratitude is the only way out. That five years from now, I will look back at this version of myself and smile—proud that I made it through. Just like today, I look back at who I was five years ago and see how she carried herself through life.
I’m okay.
It’s normal.
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