Langsung ke konten utama

Unggulan

Hi, I'm Back!

Pic cr. to pinterest Wah... it's been a while. Lagi-lagi, di tahun ini belum bisa menepati janji kepada diri sendiri untuk menulis dengan lebih konsisten. But anyway, dalam rentang waktu beberapa bulan kebelakang banyak hal yang terjadi dalam hidup aku, yang membuatku nggak pernah berhenti melangitkan syukur karena menyadari betapa baiknya Allah SWT kepadaku. Sore ini, aku sedang duduk di kamar kosan, setelah hampir seharian berkutat dengan pekerjaan baruku di kantor, di hari weekend,  dan aku merasa perlu untuk membagikan segala hal yang sedang memenuhi pikiranku. Iya, akhirnya setelah beberapa bulan aku beristirahat dari hiruk pikuk pekerjaan, kini aku kembali menjadi karyawan di salah satu perusahaan yang nggak pernah aku sangka akan menjadi tempat perjalanan karierku berikutnya. Terdengar mustahil pada awalnya, tetapi begitu lah adanya. Yang terlihat mustahil di mata manusia, nggak pernah mustahil untuk Allah SWT. Aku pun merasakan segala kasih sayang Allah padaku sampai hari i...
Posting Komentar
Baca selengkapnya
Label

(ENG) When the Crowd Feels Lonely

Pic cr. to pinterest

Many people think that I’m a social butterfly — that I have friends everywhere, that wherever I go, I’ll always run into someone I know. But honestly, I can’t help but laugh a little at that claim, because I don’t feel like I have that many friends at all. If anything, I think I’ve had friendship issues since elementary school. I went through something unpleasant back then, and maybe that’s why even now I still get terrified seeing people who seem to have so many friends.

It sucks, you know.

Maybe this doesn’t apply to those who are active in organizations, who join events here and there, or who volunteer all the time. Somehow, since college, I’ve found it harder to build new connections. The funny thing is, one of my survival skills used to be how easily I could start conversations with people. But over time, I realized not everyone likes that. Some people get uncomfortable, some go “what’s wrong with her?”, some smile and laugh politely but actually don’t enjoy it when I ask too many questions. Everyone’s different, I guess.

So I started getting closer to myself.
Truly close — to the point where I needed to feel enough just being with me.

I had to feel enough even when I was just at home, snacking and watching dramas.
Had to feel enough writing tons of stories even when no one read them.
Had to feel enough staring at the same walls every day.
Had to feel enough living like this — even when people said I should be doing more.

There are many times when I feel lonely. Talking with my family doesn’t count, because to me, that’s one of the biggest blessings in life — that when I have no friends to talk to, I still have my parents, my family, who are willing to tell me, “it’s okay,” no matter what happens.

A few is enough.

That saying is so true.
Because even if you had many, it wouldn’t necessarily feel enough. You’d still want more, and more, and more.

Too much will never be enough.

Maybe I am lonely — but my heart is full.
Full of appreciation for myself, for being able to reach the point where I don’t have to tell anyone everything just to feel at peace.

And if you’re in this position too, I hope you’ll start to feel better soon. 🌷

Label:

Komentar

Posting Komentar

Postingan Populer