(ENG) Faith — The Only Thing That Keeps Me Going

Pic cr. to pinterest

First of all, welcome, August.

May this month bring us countless little joys, may the prayers that have yet to be answered find their best answers soon, and may more kind-hearted people surround us. Aamiin.

As you can probably tell from the title, this piece will slightly highlight the religious side of me. There’s no particular reason behind it, and my knowledge of religion is still very limited, but I hope I’ll be given the chance to keep learning, little by little. Aamiin. In this writing, you’ll also find many prayers—prayers for goodness, for everyone.

Lately, I’ve been losing bits of myself.

I’ve lost sight of what I’m truly searching for, what I truly want, and the things that used to make me happy. Family doesn’t count as a loss here, because my family has always been there for me. What I mean is… I’ve been losing my sense of purpose. Every morning I wake up wanting to be happy, wanting to do something meaningful for others, but I end up feeling unworthy, like always. Not more, not less—just the same old Hazara.

The desire to do nothing all day keeps growing. The urge to not produce anything, to stop trying, keeps expanding—making me feel like I bring no benefit to anyone. My days aren’t far from writing, watching something, then writing again. Over and over.

What do I write about?

Maybe another piece that will fail again, no matter what name I put on it. Maybe it’s just not the right timing yet—but as time goes by, I get tired. Even though I haven’t even fought that hard yet. So what do I do? I just keep writing. Whether people read it or not, it’s okay. As long as I keep writing.

Just like this blog.

Since the new year began, fewer and fewer people have been reading my posts. The previous one only had two readers—I couldn’t help but shake my head. I don’t know if it’s because people’s reading interest is declining or because my writing just isn’t worth reading anymore. Maybe my content’s getting boring, predictable even. Like, “Ah, it’s just Haza again, writing about the same old opinions.” Maybe.

But what can I do? I’m the type who loves to comment on small, unimportant things—things others just let be. I simply can’t stand being silent without giving something in return.

It’d be a shame to let this platform starve.

You might ask, “So, what keeps you going, Za?”

Well, as I said in the title—faith keeps me going.

Allah keeps me going.

Allah embraces me with so much mercy that I have no reason not to hold on. I always remind myself that the ultimate goal of everything we go through is… the afterlife.

I try to live each day with the best of what I have, to keep going as much as I can, to endure what I must—all for one thing: seeking Allah’s blessings. Nothing else.

Trust me, once you feel that blessing, your days become lighter, calmer. Because Allah makes things easier, Allah provides a way out of every hardship. And Allah will never stay silent seeing us struggle—as long as we believe He’s always there.

Only Allah.

Always Allah.

And forever, Allah.